Pulliam Ford, Frank speaking...

Who said that harassment had to be confined to only telemarketers. I say, to anybody who is being an annoyance. This opens up a whole new can of amazingness! Family, friends, random people you don't know...anybody can be a target. Let me tell a story of a magical time were this happened to me.

First let me set the stage. I've just opened a new business, a plantain factory, that's a lie but it was a new business. Here I am sitting in my office, with a vendor that I have met maybe once before.

Vendor: Here are my wears, aren't they amazing? You want to buy them no?
Me: They are amazing....

The phone rings.

Me: Excuss me, let me grab this really fast.
Me: Thank you for calling Bill's Wonderful World of Plantains, how may I help you?
Caller: Hey, yeah is Frank there?
Me: Ummm nobody by the name of Frank works here, sorry.
Caller: Ah, sorry about that bud, must have dialed the wrong number. *hangs up*

Vendor: So are you interested in buying this plantain smasher? It cuts back on your time by at least 1 sec...*ring ring*
Me: Sorry...Thank you for calling Bill's Wonderful World of Plantains, how may I help you?
Caller: (same guy by the way) Hey...I was calling for Frank, is he in?
Me: Didn't you just call me? This is Bill and nobody by the name of Frank works here.
Caller: This isn't Pulliam Ford? I dialed 779-xxxx, is that your number?
Me: Yes.
Caller: Hmmmm well sorry about that. *hangs up*

Vendor: Like I was saying...*ring ring*
Me: I'm not going to answer it...its the same guy I'm sure.
Vendor: Go ahead, I have time to waste.
Me: Right, Thank you for calling Bill's Wonderful World of Plantains, how may I help you?
Caller: Yeah, I'm calling for Frank at Pulliam Ford. Is he in?
Me: Nope still not in...this is Bill again.
Caller: Dangit! I'm not sure why I keep getting you!
Me: Me either, goodbye *hangs up*

The room is obviously awkward now due to the amount of phone calls in the last 3 min.

*Ring Ring*

Vendor: Just tell him you are Frank and end all this.
Me: Good idea.
Me: Thank you for calling Pullium Ford, this is Frank speaking, how can I help you.
Caller: Frank! I've been trying to reach you for the last 5 min. I kept calling another number!
Me: THIS IS BILL!
Caller: What! Son of a B!
Me: Yeah I'm sorry...just had to do it.

Ahhhh, it was a good day.

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Fail...

I must say that there are a couple blogs that I read daily. Failblog.org just so happens to be one of them.


This is a picture that I found posted on their blog today. Whoever said that Telemarketers weren't creative? I sure didn't!

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Payback!

This has to be one of my favorite prank calls on a telemarketer. Sit back and enjoy.

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A letter of love...

Who loves spam e-mail? Oh, I sure do. Who really loves spam e-mail from people that don't speaka a gud engrish? I received the following e-mail a couple day ago about a web site that I own. The temptation to reply was too strong...

Dear Sir/Madam:

This is the Domain Name registration organization in China , who mainly duty for domain name and the Internet Trademark registration work. Here,we have some important thing confirm with your company. On July 17th 2009,We received an formal application ,one company named " AoMei Investment Group" want to register "removed for privacy" as their CN/ASIA domain names and Internet Trademark on Internet.

After our initial examination,we find the domain name and the Internet Trademark applied for registration are the same with your company's name and trademark. One point need you to confirm that whether the alleged AoMei Investment Group is your business partner or distributor in Asia? If like that ,we will finish the group's application.If the group is not you partner and your company need to protect your company's Intellectual Property in China, please let the someone who is responsible for this matter to contact us as soon as possible to deal with the matter with best way.

Thank you!

Looking forward to hearing your reply!

Best regards!
Mike
Auditing Department
China Internet Service Provider:

Mike,

Thank you so much for contacting me. It means the world to me that you would send me such a letter. Our love burns with the fire of 1,000 suns and I'm so glad to hear that you have finally realized it. I look forward to meeting you soon. In what part of China to you live? Is it one with a great view? Do you know of any good Mexican food we would eat together, hand in hand? Oh, how I dream about the time we can spend with one another. Do you think your parents will look down on us? Our love, unable to be quenched, a untamed horse running like the wind.

I look forward to hearing your response. I wait by the computer, checking my e-mail every few minutes. I wear only jorts and a tee shirt written on it "Your mom is bring the snacks" that makes me think of you. I wonder what kind of snacks she would bring us as we cuddle by the fire. Maybe an Icepop or a Worthers Orginal. Does that bring back memories or what Mike? Alas I must leave you, for the time being of course.

Yours truly and always and forever,

Bill

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